Conflict keeps escalating
You keep having the same argument, even when it starts over something different. Neither of you feels settled when it ends.
Couples therapy
You don’t have to keep having the same fight.
By the time most couples contact me, they’ve already had the conversation more times than they can count. It turns into another blowup, somebody shuts down, or things improve just long enough to start hoping—then the same pattern is back.
What usually brings couples in
You may describe the problem differently. That’s normal.
I don’t need the two of you to agree on the whole story before we begin. I do need both of you willing to look honestly at what happens between you.
One of you tries to talk. The other pulls away.
One partner tries harder to get through. The other gets overwhelmed and backs away. Then both reactions get stronger.
Trust has been broken
An affair, secrecy, or another betrayal has changed how safe the relationship feels.
You’re wondering if it can last
You may not be ready to leave, but you also know the relationship cannot keep going like this. You need an honest look at whether repair is possible.
How I work
I’m not going to leave you both to repeat the same argument in front of me.
We’ll slow the conversation down enough to see where it changes. What was said? What did each of you hear? What happened inside each of you right before things went off track?
Some couples come to me after previous therapy and say they felt heard, but still left without a clear way to handle the next conflict. Feeling understood matters. It also needs to lead somewhere.
I’m not there to decide who won. I also won’t sit by and let the same pattern run the session. I’ll interrupt, help you say what you actually mean, and teach you what to do when the conversation starts slipping again.
The Gottman Method
It gives us something more useful than guesswork.
The Gottman Method is built on more than 50 years of studying couples. Researchers watched couples in conflict and followed relationships over time, looking closely at what was different in relationships that stayed strong and those that fell apart.
You may have heard the Gottmans talk about criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Those names are useful when they help us catch what is happening between you—not when they become four more labels to argue about.
For us, that research has to be useful in the room. The Sound Relationship House helps me look at how you handle conflict, what has happened to the friendship and intimacy between you, and the meaning you are trying to build together. My Level 3 training gives me specific tools in each area. The assessment tells us which ones make sense for the two of you.
Understand before intervening
I listen to both of you, watch what happens when the conversation gets hard, review the Relationship Checkup, and look at what you still do well together.
Work with conflict as it happens
We don’t only talk about how you fight. We slow down a real conversation and practice what to do differently while it is happening.
Rebuild the part that feels like friendship
Conflict gets most of the attention, but friendship matters too. We look at how you know each other now, respond to small attempts to connect, and find your way back to being on the same side.
Make the tools fit the two of you
I may teach a skill or interrupt a pattern. I’m not going to move through a workbook while ignoring what is happening between you.
This is the main framework I use with couples. It doesn’t get to flatten your relationship into a template.
About the Gottman MethodWhat we may work on
De-escalating conflict before it takes over
Rebuilding friendship and emotional connection
Making repair attempts that the other person can receive
Working through betrayal with accountability and transparency
Addressing addiction-related harm within the relationship
Finding clarity when one or both partners are unsure about staying
Starting couples therapy
An intake is a first appointment. It isn’t a promise to stay in therapy for months.
Both of you will have room to explain what has been happening. After that, we take the assessment one appointment at a time.